Archive for the ‘Random’ Category

Heh. Limericks.

Tuesday, August 10th, 2010

Haven’t been online much because the fam has descended. I’m talking parents, grandparents, cousins (and their families), aunties, uncles, brothers, nephews, nieces. If they don’t drink, they shoot, if they don’t shoot, they cook, if they don’t cook, they dance, and if they don’t dance, they, uh, write, I guess. We all, without exception, play dominoes. This is the state of my life at the moment.

I totally missed the start of the Goodreads M/M Romance Group 1-year Anniversary Celebration. I would have missed the whole thing if I hadn’t received an email letting me know it was time for me to mail out a prize I’d donated. But thanks to that email I got to drop in on some of the fun. I even got to play in a limerick contest yesterday and it floored the hell out of me to find out via another somewhat random email that the little sucker made first place. I chose Lynn Lorenz‘s “Pinky Swear” as my prize, so assuming no one snapped it up before me and assuming I picked from the correct prize list, I’m looking forward to a good read.

The celebration’s still going on. Drop in and have some fun. Also, if you have a minute, pray for me.

Posting the limerick below. The prompt was “Pain.”


There once was a heart in my chest
Until you ripped it right out of my breast
Now there’s no dawn
As the pain writhes on
You stole my love *and* my death

Nine Seconds of Superman

Friday, May 28th, 2010

Hands are awesome…

Monday, February 15th, 2010

… and sometimes ridiculously cute:

Apples and Vampires

Monday, January 25th, 2010

Good to know that I’m not the only one out there who thinks apples and vampires are a good combination:



SS for Elaine by ~Chancake on deviantART

Talk to the moose!

Thursday, January 7th, 2010

I am entirely too fond of this vid:

Searching the Search Phrases ’09

Thursday, December 31st, 2009

This is the third year I’ve listed my favorite search phrases to hit http://www.rowanmcbride.com/. There were lots of searches for “Rowan McBride.” There were a lot of single word searches like “january” and “book” and (I kid you not) “is” that had me wondering how many pages the surfer had to go through just to get to me, and whether they were happy when they got there. For the first time I saw phrases like “Rowan McBride torrent” pop up which was deeply depressing for me.

But, as with the previous years, there were some that were hella funny. Here are a few of my faves, in no particular order:

  • forbidden fruit rowan mcbride
    Made the list because it tied so well into my previous blog posts.
  • blue curacao sickeningly sweet
    Avery would definitely agree.
  • goodhand abrasive
    Nooo. Good hands are NOT abrasive. I’m not opposed, however, to good hands being a little rough now and then. 😉
  • rowan flow i’ve never seen muscle growth
    This was an interesting one because it felt like a note direct to me, and that I was supposed to decipher it. So far all I’ve got is Flow is currently being reworked for possible publication, and that if you’ve never seen muscle growth you’ve certainly come to the right place for it if you’ve hit my site. 🙂
  • polite please thank you into his ass
    That…is most likely the best way to go about it.
  • why do i like muscle growth stories
    You would not believe how often I’m asked that very question.
  • on the one hand dolphins are good
    What’s on the other hand? O.O
  • my tongue played with his
    His what? Tease. I want to know! Unless it’s the previous person’s dolphin.

And my favorite search term to hit my site in 2009:

  • toaster said i want you inside of me
    I think it has something to do with the sandwich place commercial that was out a while back, but I don’t care. I can’t figure out how it resulted in a hit on my site and it cracked me up bad.

That’s this year’s list. Wow, 2009 has been a year of incredible ups and downs, hasn’t it? I wish everyone peace, joy, and love in 2010 (I’m having a bit of a hippie moment here).

Have a Happy New Year!

— Rowan

Apple update!

Sunday, December 27th, 2009

Regarding the candied apple I talked about in my previous post— it did have caramel and even an apple inside. A green apple, even. Very tart. All and all a good experience that probably took the same number of years off my life as that deviled egg I experimented with a while back.

😀

Apples

Monday, December 21st, 2009

I bought this on impulse the other day:

apple from hell image

As you can see, this thing is so horrible that the retailers had no choice but to tie it with what I assume to be a spiritual ribbon before sealing it inside a blessed cylinder. My camera kindly recorded the date I bought it right onto the photo. I’ve not yet worked up the courage to break the seal.

It’s got a chocolate shell studded with pecans. There might be caramel involved somewhere, but I’m not sure. The package would have me believe there’s an apple in there as well.

I have no idea how one goes about consuming such a thing. Apparently it serves 8-10 people, so I’m contemplating having some sort of candy apple party at my place. It would be good to have some friends in on this because (1) almost everything is better with friends and (2)… well…

I don’t really like apples.

It always jars me to admit that because from day to day I walk around thinking I like apples, and this delusion inevitably leads me to making purchases like the one above.

But I’m not that big a fan. Can’t stand apple juice. Not keen on apple pie unless it’s a small slice and it’s mostly crust. I make a little “yuck face” every time someone mentions apple sauce. Hard apple cider I can do if the occasion’s right. That’s about it.

Even plain, healthy apples give me trouble. I don’t like red apples and I don’t like sweet apples. If I’m going to eat an apple it’s got to be green and tart and sliced into wedges.

Apple issues. That’s what I’ve got.

Yet I adore the imagery, so much. It’s not even the “forbidden fruit” aspect that hooks me (although I DO like it and I’ve used it in that context). The fruit from the tree of knowledge that Adam & Eve took a bite out of was never actually called an apple. I like that if you cut an apple in half you get five seeds and those five seeds can stand for anything from the elements (fire, water, earth, air, soul) to the body of a person (head, hands, feet) to a simple five pointed star. I love that in DeathNote the shinigami actually find them addictive, and that Ryuk in particular calls them “jooshy.”

Even that great sound an apple makes when someone bites into it. There’s something savage about that sound. I especially like it when a person buffs the apple on their shirt and then tears a chunk out of it–lure the prey in with a false sense of comfort and go in for the kill.

Apple torture. Just further highlights the issues I mentioned above.

And while I won’t eat a red apple, my characters sure as hell will, because to me red feels more seductive, more lush. If vampires didn’t drink blood, they’d probably eat red apples instead.*

Apple pie does a similar thing to me. I don’t like to eat it, but thinking about it elicits images of hearth and home. Of cold winter nights and warm fires.

Most of my stories make an apple reference in them somewhere. I think Paul’s Dream and Want Me are the only ones that don’t, although someone recently mentioned they think I’m wrong on that. If you know for sure there’s an apple reference in either of those books, be the first to paste the quote on this thread in the comments and I’ll send you an 8×10 glossy of that book cover. 🙂

So there you have it. My first post about apples. I should file it with the post I did a while back about shoes. Sometimes I’m really, really glad that “ramblings” is right there in the title of this blog to warn people of what lies ahead.

I’ll let you know if the giant piece of candied whatever above changes my mind about apples. 🙂


*Note: I hope I didn’t turn anyone off of red apples with the vampire analogy. I do not believe that red apples taste in any way like blood.**

**Note#2: But you gotta admit, vampire fangs are probably pretty handy when tearing into an apple. 😀

Giant Freaking Pepero

Monday, December 14th, 2009

November 11th is Pepero Day in South Korea. It’s a lot like Valentine’s Day in that people will exchange gifts and/or candy with their crushes and loved ones, especially Pepero because the date of 11/11 resembles the chocolate covered cookie sticks.

November was a crazy month for me, so the 11th came and went with barely a thought. Someone mentioned it on twitter–I mentioned it back and let it slip my mind. Then a few days ago I got to stop by a local Korean grocery and saw an entire shelf of special edition Pepero. Here’s a snapshot of some of the boxes I ended up bringing home:

pepero

The box of Nude Pepero I already had–just figured I’d put it there so you could get an idea of how big the giant Pepero is in comparison. 😉

The stuff in the picture is nowhere near close to the amount of stuff I actually bought. What am I going to do with it all? No idea, but it’s mine for now, dammit, and I’m happy every time I look at it.

Happy Belated Pepero Day. 😀


ETA: I made a mistake about mentioning a contest here on twitter. I don’t know where my mind was. But hell, it’s still a good idea. So, if you make a comment before, hmmm, the 21st of December, I’ll pick a poster at random and send you one of these giant freaking boxes of Pepero. How’s that? 😀

Dalek Haiku

Thursday, October 22nd, 2009

  Dalek Haiku

  Exterminate now!
  The Daleks must reign supreme!
  WE EXTERMINATE.

  — Xyggurat

The above bit of genius had me laughing hysterically at four in the morning. Thank you to Xyggurat for giving me permission to post it. You rock socks.

If you’re unfamiliar with the Doctor Who universe, there’s a Dalek article on Wikipedia. 🙂